I’m gonna take a couple of minutes to quickly add to the story because I think it’s important to be as real about the telling of my story as I can. How do I make sense of any of this , I was supposed to be somebody’s little girl. I desperately needed to feel like I was somebody’s .. anything .. . ……. Deep breaths!!
I felt like a throwaway kid, my mother got rid of me to not have to deal with my stepfathers anger and fear, over my father being released from prison.
I still believe wholeheartedly to this day that the only reason my father got involved in my life was to stick it to my mother. As much as he said he wanted to be a “father “he never acted like one to me. So I got to be the pawn in their a little game
And this little pawn was very very very angry hurt, confused, lost, lonely and afraid.
The life that I was taken from was not great, my stepfather was a mean drunk, but at least I knew who I was, I was with my brothers and sisters whom I loved and I had a sense of family. I don’t ever remember getting a hug or any affection from my stepfather .. ever! But my mother was loving and tried to do her best to her ability. She has her own horrifying childhood memories and scars to bear!