Accidents versus Intentions

So it was important to introduce my grandmother early in the story early because she was a very important part of the next “stage “ of my story. She arranged for someone outside of the family to get involved. Elvis died that year and so did the relationship as it was with my father!!

My father was angry with my mother and it almost felt like there was a disconnect in how he viewed our relationship. He didn’t treat me like a daughter. He was frustrated with me and he had no clue how to parent me. I was very lucky that his new wife was kind, level headed and very loving. She gave me what small measure of comfort I felt during the few years I lived with them.

Now jump back to me coming out of the hospital and being released after my accident. My father was brutal and I was not going to break!!!

The arguing was getting more violent and my father was loosing control of himself because I would not bend!! He threatened me with physical violence and I was still in a cast from my accident and not feeling really great!! My poor step mom tried to protect me from him but it was like trying to stop raging waters!!

Here is where my grandmother steps in.. she called the police to intervene on my behalf, and they in turn got Child and Family services involved.

This turn of events set me on a very different path. I was removed from my fathers care and my first taste of lockdown happened, they did not have emergency care for me so I was placed in a locked facility until they could find me a bed. I did not like being locked up!! This introduction to a whole world of rough and tough rules made me realize that I was ultimately on my own.

Yes I had people in my life that I adored, my siblings , a few closer friends, my grandmother yet I always felt alone. I presented a tough exterior to protect what little bit of “ me” was left.

I also realized at that time I was not going to let anyone control my life or take bites out of me anymore!! I was 11 or 12 confused, angry, lonely, I was sexually active because that was the only way I felt control or “ love”. I trusted no one and set out to take care of myself!!

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: